Routines

For years, I've been rushing out of the house by 7:20 am, dropping unfed (and sometimes undressed) kids at a sitter, going off to my day job, and coming home around five. Dinner was usually by 6, and sometimes we had homework done before bed. Free lunch at school saved my ass many times...ok, almost every time. The baby sitter saved it a few too, with last minute homework scrambles, forgotten snack replacements & a few "I'm gonna be late" days too many. It worked. Not well, but it was our routine.

Now, I have a new routine.

Up at 6:30 am.
Make coffee, throw together 3 lunches, feed puppy, kiss T goodbye, perhaps claim the bathroom as mine for 34.9 seconds.
Leave at 7:05 am.
Drop off a child at school, be home by 7:35 am so another child can leave for school.
Make 2 more lunches, finish up any 1st or 2nd grade homework that got ignored missed the night before, corral two boys & convince them getting dressed is good for their health. Double check that i didn't forget to give them breakfast. Prep a dinner, let puppy out at least three times, get dressed, perhaps take another 34.9 seconds to throw some makeup on my face. Throw in, switch around, or fold a load of laundry. (did you *really* think I'd not mention laundry?) Hair brushing has never been optional. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that... sometimes, now it is.
Boys on the bus at 8:45. Hopefully, I have remembered to give them both snacks AND lunches.
Puppy-proof the kitchen. Earrings in. Shoes on. Baby Puppy Gate up. Check pockets & hands. Keys? Coffee? Purse?
8:55 am. Out the door to work.
9:15 am - 5:30 pm. Work.
6:00 pm. Home. Kiss T, pet puppy, feed puppy, finish making dinner (unless T has gotten home first & already done so), serve dinner. Eat. Fold laundry (maybe). Decompress with T. Attempt to catch up boys' homework. Maybe read a story, give a bath, trim some nails, or other mom-ish stuff. Play with puppy. Some days there's taxi service thrown in, or errands, or grocery shopping, or last minute scrambles for projects, pet supplies, beer, etc. Get boys ready for bed. Secretly wish I was going to bed too.
8:00 pm. Boys in bed. Chit-chat with girls. More decompressing with T. Sometimes more taxi service. Shower at some point before midnight. Let puppy out..again. Think about all the things I wanted to do today, but didn't. Fall into bed & dream about smashing my alarm clock into millions of teeny tiny pieces with a 40 lb sledge hammer.

And here's the kicker.

Every single day, I feel less accomplished, less organized, less....DONE. Every. Single. Stinkin'. Day.

I thought for sure with 2 extra hours every morning, I'd have time to cook, time to enjoy sons & mommy time, time to clean. I'd have time to be a better mom, a better significant other, a better me. Time to actually help with homework. Time to take pictures. Time to calibrate a kidney-friendly canine diet. Time to do bills, cut coupons, scour the web for new recipes. Time to blog, at home. Time to paint my nails. Time to... clean my room gasp!. I don't. And I don't get it... perhaps the puppy ate my super-mom cape. Perhaps whichever one of my brain cells that controls "organization of life as a mom" is fried. I really don't want to be super-mom. It's just that...well, I had all these visions of all these things I'd be able to cram into that 2 hours a day, and all these ideas of all these things I'd be able to do in the evenings. Haha! I sure laugh at me & my ideas... sigh.

How do I start feeling less like I'm chasing my tail, and more like I'm chasing the dream? And, for the love of all things good & evil alike....how the heck do I STAY caught up on ANYTHING? I just want to NOT feel at the end of the day like I did nothing, and yet exhausted myself in the process. Is that really so much to ask?

I did have make time to whip up a batch of home made chocolate chip cookies this morning, in between lunches & make-up. The laundry lost the "I'm of upmost importance" battle, for once.







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