I feel a bit like I'm walking into a confessional booth.
"It's been two weeks since my last.." Sigh.
T.J. struck in the ten minute gap between my daughter leaving for school and me returning from another child's school drop-off. I don't even care that the picture is shitty. I do care, immensely, that my pup is finally being a pup. And while a smile-tainted "ohhhhh, you're a bad boy" did escape my lips, my first thought was of my camera. And wondering why I didn't have a baby book for him. This would have been on the "T.J.'s Firsts" list.
Two weeks ago today, T.J. was admitted into an emergency vet hospital. He was in severe kidney failure. It was a whirlwind weekend, full of many tears, lots of questions, and very few answers. In hindsight, it explained his lack of puppy behavior for the last few weeks. The vets suggested euthanasia. We couldn't do it. Today, after fluids, meds & a special diet, he is the most bouncy, pouncy, clumsy & playful boxer puppy a woman could ask for. Tomorrow? We won't know til then.
He sleeps in our bed, between us. Legs straight out. This 32 lb boxer can take up half a queen sized bed, no problem.
This weekend, his diet will get special-er. I've been researching home cooking for dogs in renal failure, and am gonna give it a shot. The food he's on now is good for dogs with kidney problems, but reminds me a bit of meat flavored jello. He's gonna get boxer stew. Smile.
He's learned how to ring bells when he needs to go out. He still has accidents in the house, daily.
He speaks, knows "down" but ignores "off". He will (if you're lucky) sit quietly & wait for you to let him eat. If you're not lucky, he will have it half gone before the bowl touches the floor.
I have yet to figure out how to get a good shot of him, sitting still, in focus, unless he's not looking at me.
He is on meds, and every other day sub-q fluids. I never knew how hard it would be to stick a needle in something that's alive. I think it bothers me more then him, at this point.
He will die, from this, someday. No one can say when. We just hope that someday is not soon.
When titling the garbage photo, that's all I could think of. Spilling over. And how very accurately that describes the mental state I've been in. It's like a bucket that's too full. A washer with too many bubbles. A tub left to run, and run, and run.
The puppy, bills, work, the kid's homework, struggling with dinner schedules, parent teacher nights, more homework...ugh. There's been a few moments of "oh dear lord, I just need to cry". And cry I did.
And then there is teenagers.
Car accidents. Tongue rings. Attitudes that would make a hardened criminal blush. Gas leaks. Insurance loss (due to said attitudes). Entitlement. Meddling grandparents who are lied to, and enforce the entitlement & attitudes. I could tell all the gory details, but I think I'll just leave it to the imagination. It's sufficient to say we have two almost-18 year old children who want to be adults in every way, except the responsibility & respect for parental authority part. And that has been a battle, every day, for a very long time. And it's all coming to a head in more ways then one. And that means more spilling over.
I have yet to do anything fall or Halloween related. I suck.