Thursday, August 22, 2013

Enough. You are!

3 words I've never been able to say to me.

3 words I'm drilling into my daughter's brain every chance I get.

3 words the media & most social influences will never lovingly whisper in your ear.

You Are Enough.

And you know what?

You Are.


Here I sit....sweatpants, a shirt riddled with dog drool & grease splatter from dinner prep, hair a mess, willfully ignoring (for today) a very intimidating pile of textbooks valued at $735. They are crisp, shiny new, awakening in me both fear & excitement. Come on..don't you remember getting your history/science/math book on the first day of school, and how great the cover felt under your fingertips? How much fun the paper bag covers were to make decorate with words and symbols of childhood? I guess that feeling never goes away, even when you're much too ancient for paper bags covering your books. Anyway, I'm sitting here, contemplating what I did/didn't do today, what I should/shouldn't do tomorrow, finding myself slipping into the "I'm not doing enough" space again. And that's a muddy, gross place, lemme tell ya. It's the same old, same old....I made dinner, but it wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. I folded 5 loads of laundry, but there's one basket still not put away. I swept, but didn't vacuum. I could have done better. And then the slippery slope becomes a  cascading river that carries you quickly over the edge, down into the pool of "I'm not enough". I'm not good-cook enough. I'm not maid enough. I'm not smiley & frolicy enough. I'm not skinny enough. I'm not funny enough. I'm not Mom enough. I'm not woman enough. I don't wear makeup enough. I don't dress my age enough. It's the Not Enough pool. Filled with quicksand, and piranhas. Sounds like a grand ole time, eh?

And then I got to thinking....wait a sec. Back up.

My daughter thinks she's fat. Why? Because she isn't rail thin like the media says she should be. She isn't as pretty (in her opinion) as the girls at school. She over obsesses about her hair, her clothes, her teeth, her everything. And still gets picked on. She "isn't enough", or so she's told.

 And what do I tell her? Wear what makes YOU happy. Do your hair YOUR way. Screw them if they don't like you, call you fat. Who are they to judge? You are enough. Just the way you are. Enough.

Wait...what?!?! why should I treat myself any differently?

My children aren't perfect, but (most days) they are kind, caring, smart & loving. I am Mom enough.

My house isn't perfect, but the people who live here have what they need, when they need it, how they need it, and no one ever has to drip dry after a shower. I'm maid enough.

I smile when I am happy. I frolic when I drink. I'll loose 35 lbs, someday. If I wasn't a decent cook, people around here would be skinny, and they aren't. I don't even LIKE a lot of makeup, hair gel or high heels. And I'm really, really not a pool person. So, I'm gonna go out on a limb (and ask anyone out there who needs to, to join me)....

In all our imperfect-ness, quirkiness, busy-ness, decide-to-play-today-instead-of-worry-ness. On the days when we never get out of our pj's. On the days when everything we touch breaks, falls, cracks or cries. On the days when our kids hate us, the dogs won't even snuggle, and it rains. In those moments when we feel accomplished, and the moments when we don't. When our hair is perfectly groomed, and especially when it looks like shit. In that moment when our child makes our heart skip, whether in fear or in pride. In every hug, every smile, every song of laughter, and yes.even the tears.

Just the way I am, the way you are. In every way imaginable...

I am enough. And so are YOU.
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